On Tuesday I am moving to South London (sort of) from my current home in Cardiff. People say that the streets of London are paved with gold.....they're liars! I've been there, well perhaps they are but it can't be seen for all the dirt, gum and blood (ok, that's a bit exaggerated!)
I'm going there for 3 reasons: 1) I don't have to pay rent, 2) its closer to My girlfriend, 3) I hope to earn more money as to save for the future (assuming I even get a job that is). Why am I telling you all this? Well, except for the fact that I feel slightly responsible for anyone who pops by here and wish to share everything I has got me thinking about a few things. Now I'll admit upfront that these are not new ideas, either to the world or to me, however they have become more real and therefore thought I'd share them with you.
First is money. It's a funny old thing. I've heard it said that no matter how much someone in the UK earns they spend that plus 10%. I'm not sure how true that is but I think the concept is evidently true. There is a lot of debt here. People want things now and never later. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I'm not one of these people but merely that I don't believe I should be. I've been hoping to get a job before I move but its not happened (not to say I've been completely devoted to that endeavour) and it worries me a little. I've decided that the issue here is lack of trust. Do I believe that God really does provide for all my needs? That he is a good and loving father? If so then why am I worrying? Perhaps I'll get to London and he'll provide me with a job with which I can earn money, or perhaps he has other things in store for me. I just don't know. What I do know is that I need to learn to trust him.
Secondly is loneliness. I'm moving to a new city where I have no friends, I'm not a member of any club, I have no job, the people I'm living with I've not spent more then a week with and are not my age and to top it all my girlfriend is an hour away and will only see her (at best) once a week. Again, as with most things, the root issue is a poor Theology. Do I really believe that God will be my great provider? Is God really enough for me? If God made Adam a wife from his rib because he was lonely, then surely he is able to find a way that Sarah and I can see each other?
Third is church. I've seen good churches and bad churches in my time as I'm sure most of us have. I want to find a church where I am challenged and pushed, where status quo won't do where good Theology is central and bland opinions are whittled out. Where I can become a member and feel like a brother and not a stranger or a reject. I pray that I will be of use to the church as much as I will gain from it. I've realised over the last few years that my view of church has been wrong but I go in expectation that this new understanding that God has brought me too will enable me to be part of a church where I may grow, encourage and serve.
If you've got this far then well done. Yes, this basically was just a worried rant but like I said before, God is faithful! May I decrease so that he may increase.
Till next time!
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