Till Next Time!
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Vocation Frustration
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I've been pondering my vocation for year. I was convinced of my calling to full-time Christian work years ago. First of all I thought I was going to be a youth worker until I realised that I hate the game 'Mafia' and therefore aren't suited to it. I then thought I was going to be a Baptist minister in the UK, currently I am working for an Anglican church as a Lay assistant minister. I love it! It's quite diverse in task and has great support from the Rector, Mick Hough and my ministry mentor, Bill McIlroy. On paper it is the perfect job and I'm certain that this is where God has meant for me to be now. However, I have itchy feet. For a few years now, after a mission trip to Japan for a month that I swore I wouldn't go on (and God told me I had no choice) and on which I swore I would never be an international missionary, I felt strongly that God called me to return to Japan to serve him there. I've had moments of which I was convinced and moments that I wasn't so sure. The whole team I was with is now in Japan in one way or another. I began to think recently that perhaps I only feel I should be there as that's where they are Perhaps I should be a parish vicar and my desire for international mission is simply that I don't want to be in the UK and I want the kudos of being an international missionary, to be seen as that little more holy? Is it merely my vanity and boredom?
About a week ago I went to a vocations day at Southward cathedral. It was an interesting day and I recommend it to anyone. We had some great talks from Brother Samuel, Minister Provincial of the Society of St Francis, small group sessions and a chance to look around a few stall advertising different vocational options. I was struck by a couple things (although I admit that there are possibly more what I took from it rather then his actual words). Firstly, we are called to be friends. Firstly with Jesus, secondly with those around us. Secondly, there is a difference between vocation and career. A career is a job, something you do for money. A vocation is what we live and devote our lives to. We all have the vocation of serving Jesus in different ways. God reminded me that my vocation was Japan and I shouldn't forget it! It wasn't just something I was desiring but rather a vocation that I was to fulfil. I can see God leading me places I never thought I'd be and teaching me things I will need for Japan including, most recently, how http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifto garden!
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Here are some questions I will be thinking about over the next few weeks:
1) Should I get ordained?
2) Should I finish (read start) my plumbing course?
3) What is my time scale?
4) Is God bothered as long as I fulfil my vocation of sharing Christ (and all that means) in Japan?
I pray that God will answer these questions and lead me to a conclusion, even if it's a partial one.
As Isaiah says, 'I am a man of unclean lips' but I cry with Isaiah 'Here I am Lord. Send me!'
Till Next Time!
P.s. Sorry that it's garbled.
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